Uncovering your true self leads to an incredible amount of change. And that change will have ripple effects throughout the rest of your life.
At the beginning, as you start to go deeper below the surface, as the fences start to come down, the people around you may start to shift, move closer or further away, come to the surface, or get buried under the dirt you’re digging up.
You need to be prepared for the safety net of people around you to shift and change. It’s alright for that to happen – and sometimes it needs to. These friends, or sometimes even family, could be a factor in your true self being buried, in your building of your fences.
And that is not their fault. But you need to acknowledge and accept that you hid your values and buried your identity, in order to feel as though you belonged with them.
And this isn’t to say that you don’t belong with them at all – you may still fit within the group. But you need to determine whether you want to fit in that space as yourself, or as someone else.
It’s emotionally difficult to navigate the breaking apart, the scattering of friendships and family members. As you slowly work towards coming to reality with yourself and begin the self-work of finding out who you truly are, you may struggle to identify exactly what happened with your friends and family.
Oftentimes, as we work on being true to ourselves, the people for whom we were changing ourselves won’t like that we aren’t who they thought we were. They become uncomfortable with our changing, our evolution, our unburying of values and traits that they may not agree with, approve of, or accept.
And we may be afraid of those feelings being directed towards us, as we’ll start to question ourselves, wondering why we were so “fake”, believing that we must just be compulsive liars to have kept up this morphing, this constant shifting to fit what we thought they wanted.
How to know when you've buried your true identity
Get the four steps to recognize and pinpoint when you’ve been morphing yourself to fit other’s expectations.
Do the mindset work…
But eventually, as you get further into the mindset work, you’ll start to come to terms with how you were trying to change yourself in order to fit in with your various friend groups. And you’ll begin to come to terms with the fact that these friends drifted away. And you’ll eventually be OK with that.
So many of us have gone through this shift, working through our own timeline, coming to terms with the changing friendships and family relationships that have come with the work. And we’re here to support you as you go through the same journey.