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You know that moment in The Fellowship of the Ring when Gandalf is in the Mines of Moria, standing there with no recollection of the place? He’s lost, surrounded by darkness, with no idea where to go. Sometimes life and our own minds can feel like that. But knowing and living in alignment with our core values can help guide you out of those mines and into the light.

Let’s dive into why core values are so important, how you can uncover yours, and how to use them to navigate life’s chaos.

Several years ago, I found myself completely lost – not in a literal mine, thankfully, but in a much more personal way. I thought I had found a group of people that would be my friends for a long time to come; that we had each others’ backs and would support each other no matter what. But as time went on, I found that I had abandoned my core values in an effort to fit in with this group. I had convinced myself that their approval was worth more than staying true to who I was.

And then, they abandoned me. I didn’t fit in with them, no matter how much I tried to force it. It was devastating at first, but it ended up being one of the most important lessons of my life. It became clear that I didn’t fit in with them because we valued very different things. I realized that the only way to truly belong – to myself and to others – was to come to terms with, identify, and live in alignment with my own core values.

That was my key to cutting through my mental chaos and finding my way in the world.

So, let’s start with the basics: What are core values, and why are they so important?

Core values are the deeply held principles that guide your decisions, shape your actions, and define what truly matters to you. They are your moral compass, pointing you in the direction of what feels right and authentic.

When you’re living in alignment with your core values, life feels more fulfilling and meaningful, calmer and more peacful. Your decisions become clearer, your relationships become more authentic, and your sense of self is much more grounded. But when you’re out of alignment – when you’re ignoring or betraying your values – it can lead to anxiety, guilt, and a sense of being lost.

How do you uncover your core values?

First, start by reflecting on your past experiences. Think about moments when you felt truly happy, fulfilled, or proud of yourself. What was happening in those moments? What values were being honored?

Then, look for patterns and themes. Are there certain principles or feelings that keep popping up when you think of your past experiences, like creativity, honesty, connection, or freedom? Ask yourself some questions:

• What’s most important to me in life?
• What do I want to stand for?
• What do I want to leave behind?

Write down your answers and see what resonates. This isn’t about perfection – it’s about gaining clarity on what truly matters to you.

Once you’ve identified your core values, the next step is learning how to live in alignment with them. This means prioritizing your time and energy based on what matters most to you.

For example, if one of your core values is connection, are you spending time nurturing relationships that resonate with that value? Or are you stuck in relationships that drain your energy?

If creativity is a core value, are you making space in your life to explore and express that creativity?

If equality and human rights are values of yours, how are you standing up to hate and intolerance and fascism in our world?

Living in alignment with your values also means making difficult decisions. Sometimes, this requires saying no to opportunities or relationships that don’t align with your values. It could mean stepping away from friendships or family members who do more harm than good.

It’s not always easy, but it’s essential for creating a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

And here’s something important to keep in mind: your core values aren’t set in stone. They can evolve as you grow and change. Maybe freedom was a top value for you in your 20s, but now, in a different phase of life, stability feels more important. Or you evolved from success and achievement to calm and contentment.

That’s okay. Embracing flexibility and growth is part of the process.

The key is finding a balance between staying true to your core values while remaining open to new experiences. Life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes those detours can help us refine or even rediscover what truly matters.

Of course, living in alignment with your core values isn’t always easy. There will be challenges – societal expectations, external pressures, conflicting values. But those challenges don’t have to derail you.

When societal expectations clash with your values, take a step back and remind yourself of what’s truly important. When you’re facing conflicting values – like wanting both freedom and stability – try to find harmony by balancing those needs in a way that feels right for you.

Building resilience in the face of setbacks is also crucial. Life isn’t always going to go perfectly, but when you’re grounded in your core values, it’s easier to bounce back and keep moving forward.

To start putting this into action, brain dump what comes to mind for you when you think of living a life that is aligned with your core values. What does that life look like? What does it feel like? What are some meaningful goals that reflect your values? What small steps will move closer to that vision and those goals?

For example, if adventure is a core value, maybe you plan a weekend road trip or try a new activity you’ve been curious about. If kindness is a core value, look for ways to show kindness to yourself and others – whether it’s through volunteering, writing a thoughtful note, or simply taking a break when you need it.

Remember, knowing your core values is like having a compass in the middle of life’s chaos. They’ll guide you when you’re feeling lost, help you make decisions that feel authentic, and keep you grounded in what truly matters.

Take some time this week to reflect on your core values. What are the principles that define you? How can you start living in alignment with them? And if you’re feeling brave, share your reflections with someone you trust – because the journey to living authentically is always better with a little support.

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